Tuesday, October 01, 2013

Bringing The Crazy

Was out on the street today with three of the neighbourhood moms as the kids ran wild. Best street, seriously. Maybe fifty houses, hundred year old duplexes mostly, the odd detached place. A couple of old folks hanging in there but mostly young families. Its great.

 We were discussing bedtimes and different strategies. Our guys are ten, almost eight and five and for years we'd have the lot of them in bed by seven but now its eight and sometimes a bit later for the two oldest. I dread a few years from now, we barely have any time to ourselves now and the evenings are ours but not for much longer and how the hell am I going to get any of the sex if the kids are lounging around.

 Goddamn it all to hell.

 So this reminded me of last night and so I told them about it, it was getting near bedtime and our youngest told us we had to attend her 'dance show'. She had been after us for a while but we were doing dishes and cleaning up and getting homework finished and so we kept putting her off but we all trooped down to see what she had put together. She's cute as a button our youngest all enthusiasm and giggles and joy and so we smiled and thought oh this will be great.

 After a few minutes the phone rang and Jenn smirked and excused herself as it was her sister and so I was stuck watching what could only be described as a fucking disgrace. The two oldest were enlisted in this effort and there was no dancing or singing or anything worth anything, just her running in circles with them running after her and after each circuit she'd throw herself onto the couch and so would they and then they'd do it all over again. And I'm sitting there thinking what the fuck is this shit, this is horrible and all I want right now is a drink or a cigarette or a hooker to end my misery, what a fucking disaster and then it ends and I think thank fuck and then she smiles and says its intermission and I got up and roared at them to all get to bed that was the end of that my Jesus what a disaster.

 And so I told this story to the moms and they laughed and cringed a bit and I am sure they were thinking my God he's a mental case and so I'm watching the hockey game tonight and first intermission comes on and I think well you know what maybe Cherry and I aren't that different after all, it must be all the booze and blows to the head over the years, am I right Don?



LeeJay said...

Haha, great story. Btw the face puncher the Oilers picked up scored the first goal of the season so there goes Cherry saying you need guys like that on your team.

Black Dog said...


docweb said...

There are very few things that I read that have literally made me laugh out loud. Your kids stories are consistently them

Keep up the great work