Monday, February 14, 2011
Remember that Simpsons' episode? Can't remember the exact situation but it had something to do with what was on Homer's mind as he sat in (apparent) deep thought. And of course then it was his voiceover with the old cat commercial. Pretty fucking funny shit.
The kids and I were sitting around a few weeks ago and I pulled that on them. Asked everyone what they were thinking and then they asked me and I started into it. They thought that was the funniest thing ever. This is what passes for conversation at the dinner table, which is rather Simpson like now that I think about it. Food flying, slurping and grunting while my wife looks on with disapproval. The barbarians (my genetic makeup) are winning, just as they always have since the first McLeans came rampaging naked out of the moors.
I was talking to the boy a while back and he asked me about sex again. I gave him the whole spiel, no holds barred (just the basics now, we didn't talk about the oral or the anal) and his favourite part, as always, was when I talked about Daddy putting his penis into Mommy's vagina. He just thinks that's the greatest.
Me too boy, me too.
The family got back yesterday after two weeks away and the first night lasted three hours before I got up with our youngest who is under the weather. About an hour of that and then she was okay. I'm glad they're back. Seriously.
When we first started having kids and Jenn would go away with however many of them there were at the time things could get mental. I organized a couple of pub crawls and spent a lot of time drinking when I wasn't tearing apart the house (we were renovating, I wasn't actually stumbling around with a crowbar). Not sure if it was the time of year or if I have aged (we've all aged) or the fact that everyone is a lot busier these days (lots more kids) but mostly I was just bored and lonely this time and with the exception of one night out plus hockey I pretty well kept to myself.
I really do attribute a lot of it to the weather though. Last week was absolute horseshit, very cold and miserable. We've been spoiled here for years and frankly the endless days of winter are taking their toll I think. It warmed up yesterday and its supposed to be warm all week except for tonight and tomorrow and its a welcome respite. Its actually raining here today.
If these are dog days well no more so than for the Oilers who are on track for a worse record than last season if that can be believed. Its playing out the string time again while every other club in the conference is within striking distance of the playoffs. The rumours are heating up about Hemsky and Penner going and the word is that a) both will be happy to stay and b) the Oilers are asking too much for them which is pretty well the only good news I've heard from those parts in a long time.
The highlight of Hockey Day in Canada was my own game. We were up 1-0 on an outmanned squad for half the game and their goalie turned away shot after shot until we scored one to double our lead. Then I had one of those shifts I seem to have now and then. First on a two on one I sent a backhand saucer over their Dman to my opposite winger for the tap in. Even the opposition complimented me on that. Then thirty seconds later I cut into the slot and picked the corner myself. And for good measure on the next shift I busted around their Dman and cut in Anderson style. I was stymied but our centre followed up for an easy dunk into the vacant net.
The game was busted open and we had a rare laugher. As in I can probably count on one hand the number of games we've had where we've blown the doors off the other team in all of the years I have played for old Capsule.
I came to the bench after the second shift and said I should take the key and get while the getting is good. I'm always joking that one of these days I'm going to do just that. Blind squirrel is going to find a nut and then skate off into the sunset right then and there.
The reality is that they're going to have to drag me off kicking and screaming. I love to play, probably more than I ever have and of course the camraderie in the room is the best part of it. We have a terrific group of guys and we always have a laugh. Plus the sex in the shower is fantastic.
Was watching Oil Change yesterday and I found the whole thing interesting, probably moreso than it deserves. Tyler Dellow got some great lines off about it but of course the best part of it was the 'passing grade' that the organization got. Never a discouraging word said, much like the broadcast on Saturday afternoon where Kevin Weekes bent over backwards to compliment the Oilers and especially Khabibulin. Buddy must be looking for a job in management somewhere because the see no evil act grew pretty thin. Hopefully he'll get a job somewhere and then he can take Khabibulin off of our hands.
Kevin Lowe talked about being a contender in four to six years. That picture up top is my son around the time the Oilers made that magical run in 2006. He's finishing kindergarten now, can skate, read and write and knows the capital cities of thirty countries. By Lowe's math then he will be almost in puberty by the time this club contends again.
Man that is awfully hard to take for two reasons. First of all this was a perfectly good club that was a break or two away from winning it all. And secondly the guys who put the whole thing in the ditch are still around.
Oh that's hard to take.
And we can talk about exciting hockey and all that but its starting to wear on everyone I think. Taylor Hall certainly didn't display his usual flair on Saturday. Losing sucks and I can't see why Hemsky and Penner would want to stick around honestly. And the expected return for the two of them is underwhelming, what I have seen anyhow. Which means the club takes another step back and then in a couple of years its Whitney and Gilbert and Gagner's turn to go. Of course for most fans it seems the shelf life of a player on this club is three years before they are all too happy to get them out the door and replace them with the next shiny object that lands on their doorstep.
So it won't bother a lot of fans I think. Five years out of the playoffs and everyone seems happy with the company line despite the fact that shoring up the blue and the goaltending might make a pretty big difference for next year's club's chances, imo. Nope its stay the course and in Lowe we trust.
I don't think this is going to end well but then again maybe that's just the weather talking.
Then again listening to Lowe and LaForge on Saturday and seeing Tambellini's dopey smile as he talks about getting another great player in the draft makes me think that maybe I'm not off the mark too much here.
I think there may not be much there there, if you know what I mean.
Posted by Black Dog at 2:10 PM