Thursday, January 20, 2011

Lying Liars And The Lies They Tell

My kids are liars. Its almost pathological. Given the choice between lying and telling the truth they will invariably lie and they will do so easily and happily.

I don't blame them. Faced with catching hell or maybe escaping it is an easy choice for a five year old. You try to go out through that little escape hatch. If it works then you're golden. If it doesn't well the increased punishment, if there is one, is too obscure of a concept for them to understand and the reality is that the punishment may just be a whole bunch of yelling anyhow so what's five minutes of yelling or six minutes of yelling anyways.

(That's why I tend to make my punishments concrete, swift and inventive. Keep them off balance is my motto but also, don't fuck around. Don't threaten with something you won't pull the trigger on, let it fit the crime and make sure that you hit them where it hurts.)

And a well placed lie can confuse and deflect. The two oldest are experts at this. Ask them who the responsible party is and they each blame the other and they do so quickly and without conscience and with enough detail to cast doubt. In the end its sometimes easier to let it pass because you may risk punishing the wrong one. The boy especially has a stone cold heart when it comes to this thing. One time his sister was punished despite the usual finger pointing from both. Weeks later he let it slip that he had been lying and he should have been punished. His lie had been so convincing that we had swallowed it, hook line and so on. He let it slip and smirked, walking away a free man.

They come by this dishonesty honestly by the way as I am an inveterate liar. I started in the same way as they did and quickly graduated as a teenager to those things that teenager boys lie about to their parents - drinking mostly. When I was seventeen I got caught out by a girl who I was dating who I din't feel like seeing one night. Rather than say 'hey I don't feel like going out tonight (I didn't want to hurt her feelings)', I told her I was quite ill. Of course when she called me later to see if I was feeling any better and it turns out I was not at home (I'd gone to a buddy's to play cards) well then things didn't work out so well.

Those are two common themes to my lies. I'd rather lie than hurt someone. I also lie to avoid conflict quite a bit. Also I use the illness excuse quite a bit. I'm not the only one.

Play along and tell me how many if these you recognize.

Are you mad at me?


(Absolutely furious but its easier to let it fester inside than deal with it now).

Are you listening?


(To this same old complaint? No. Plus the game is on.)

Did you call (so and so - your parents, the client, the plumber, the neighbour)?

Yes of course.

(Nope. Don't feel like it. Will call when I do.)

Were you just jerking off in there?

What?! No of course not.

(Third time today baby! Barely anything coming out now.)

Have you been drinking?

Oh I just had one.

(Have I ever, four pints in an hour. Whoooo!)

Its ok that I don't want to have sex, right?

Oh sure.

(Holy fuck shoot me now.)

See? Its easy. And its easy if you get caught out as well. Be detailed if necessary when lying but sometimes its best to also be vague. Do so naturally. Have no conscience.

The one thing that we have had going for us is that we only have two liars but number three is coming along, she is talking up a storm now and its adding to the confusion. This is going to be awful. Case in point we were visiting my folks over the weekend and the youngest comes in with a huge pink streak in her hair.

What happened we asked? Our eldest, whose hair colouring toy it was, said that the youngest grabbed the tube from her and squeezed it on her head.

Ok, no problem except the shit is almost impossible to get out and she still has faintly pink hair a week later.

And when I was picking her and the boy up from daycare (they do daycare Mondays and Tuesdays) I was told that apparently the oldest was responsible. And so I asked our youngest what had happened and she pointed the finger of blame right at her older sister. And the boy immediately chimes in that yes this is what happened, his oldest sister had squirted it in her hair all along.

Information that he did not volunteer last week.

So once again someone is lying and what the hell do you do? Its impossible to figure out the truth, the little bastards.

I couldn't be prouder!


Tyler goes over the whole Hemsky situation and as per usual its pretty good stuff. A few people are willing to give the Oilers the benefit of the doubt on this one but I have to agree with a few of the commenters who say that while its not absolutely black and white they cannot help but think that the Oilers have fucked up again. When Gene Principe is aware (While his medical condition was a surprise to fans, it wasn't a surprise to the Edmonton media. Gene Principe, on the simply awe-inspiring Sportsnet intermission panel, said that Hemsky wasn't feeling well against Anaheim and expressed no surprise at all. source Derek Zona Copper and Blue)that Hemsky has had concussion like symptoms before the game then anyone who says that the Oilers could not have been aware is ignoring this pretty clear indication that somebody did. Either Principe thought so on his own (and if it was apparent to him then its not a stretch to think that it was apparent to others) or someone told him so.

Concussions are tricky things. I have been concussed once that I know of and I only went to the doctor after a few days because I felt a little off. No nausea, no headaches, just didn't feel right.

But again if Principe was aware then there's little doubt that there was concern and if there was concern then it should have been acted on.

A lot of people are taking potshots at the Oilers for this and some people feel that this is unfair but the fact is that the Oilers' organization has brought this upon themselves. For years now management has exhibited such an absolute lack of competence that even when things go right its chalked up to a blind squirrel finding a random nut. The worst is assumed every time and of course they have nobody to blame but themselves for the cynicism of their fanbase. Five years out of the playoffs, the endless (and slimy) politicking for a new arena built with public money, the constant bleating that money is being lost when common sense tells us differently, the disastrous trades, the poor management of young players, the shitshow that they put out on the ice and yes, the historical tendency of this organization to rush players back from injury, have left us jaded, so much so that even the apparent bright future of this club is taken with a grain of salt because there seems to be little doubt that these clowns will pile out of their buggy and fuck things up.

The cynicism and anger and frustration was summed up brilliantly the other night when after someone commented at Lowetide's that Tencer had tweeted that Hemsky was having an MRI on his noggin Dennis King replied:

I think they're checking to see if he's stupid enough to resign with them.

Absolutely fucking right.

There is a reason that people don't trust government or big business or the Church anymore. Years and years of dishonesty and bullshit and absolutely fucking disgusting behaviour will make you leery of pronouncements from politicians and CEOs and clergy as to what is right for you. (The latest on the Vatican's response to issues with pedophiles in the Church in Ireland makes one's stomach turn and then thoughts of murderous intent begin to appear. And my wife wonders why I have no lower opinion that that of organized religion.) Of course in comparison the Oilers are small potatoes but the Principe (ha!) is the same
Did the Oilers know that Hemsky might be concussed? Hard to say although the Principe comment, as mentioned by Derek, strikes me as the smoking gun.

If so then its just another in a long list of pretty good reasons why the upper management of this club, the only ones who have survived this past five years, should be run out of town.

If not, well its too bad that the Oilers are taking heat for it but the reality is that they have nobody to blame but themselves for the pessimism about their actions.


Ribs said...

Well I sure hope my girlfriend doesn't read this post (don't worry, she won't. Hah). She'd learn all of my secrets!

I think they know that we're lying though. Subconsciously or not, they have to. Why do they continue to ask these inane questions? Who knows.

For what it's worth, I don't believe Principe had any idea that Hemsky was having concussion problems. He only knew that he wasn't feeling well and wasn't available to the media the day before.

Black Dog said...

Lol Ribs I think its been going on for hundreds of years.

As for Principe still he knew something was up. Speaks to my point I think. I don't trust these guys and for good reason.

spOILer said...

Principe could have been reacting with the same 20/20 hindsight... Like Ribs said, Hemmer reported a head cold/flu, felt off, and it turns out it's a cumulative concussion (since no one I am aware of has found any single smoking gun hit or incident). Would you then be surprised if you found out that it was not a sinus cold, but a concussion the next day? And as you yourself pointed out in your example, concussion symptoms can take time to appear.

I think this one really is a case of piling on management. However, that was still an absolutely brilliant post.

Halfwise said...

>(I'd gone to a buddy's to play cards)

Euchre? Awesome Ontario game. Not played much out here in God's* country.

*not the God of organized religion

Black Dog said...

Halfwise - that's correct sir.

SpOILer - thanks pal. And yeah for sure, piling on. But fuck those guys, until they turn this thing around they deserve it.

macaotim said...

If Hemsky speaks out, does he end up playing with Big Sexy? Or, does one of these shitheads get the axe?

(Please say Tambo, please say Tambo)

Swabbubba said...

I have seen some fairly strong conclusions to weak evidence. Souray is and always be a Douche Bag he said the same shit about Montreal when he left there. The guy likes to shit allover the place so he can never go back. About players it makes them mini legends played with Broken leg, lost teeth etc. This is the part of the game that makes it mans game where it really does differ from other sports in general. Is it right probably not it is just like older guys skipping the prostate exam is it smart no not really but guys do.

I wonder when the next helmet will have some lower jaw protection built into it. Really would suck for players who like to skirmish but they have to do something I say they go back to soft pads... it is for protection not for Armour. Hope 83 is back soon with no long term affects. But all the blame on the organization I don't buy that. Hell on the road plane hotel game that takes it out of you. The player has to put up his hand to tell the team of an issue.. who knows maybe Ales was just grumpy when Gene saw him.
Go Oilers and get better 83