Monday, November 08, 2010

Polish Polish. Free Linus!

I was at my sausage guy just about an hour ago to order my usual.

And yes that's the type of guy I am. I not only have "a sausage guy" but I have a usual with him.

When it comes to eats and drinks I'm very much a guys' guy. That and my unrelenting sex drive is what I fall back on when my father in law hands me a hammer and I stare at like a dumb animal or when my Dad calls the boy 'the son I never had' after he (the boy) spends an hour quizzing my old man on the workings of an outboard motor while I sit on the deck reading a book about pleasuring my wife.

As my wife said last night when I came up between periods to cop a feel (denied! by the presence of her parents) 'Oh, he's just watching some hockey drinking his manly beer'.

Was at the LCBO the other day and was heartened by the appearance of the strong beers of winter - the stouts and winter ales. Kick. Ass. Highly recommended. Great stuff coming out of England as well as locally these days.

Anyhow I'm grabbing my sausage, as I am wont to do, and the woman in front of me is telling your man John, my sausage guy, to make sure that the sausage is well done and that its sliced a certain way and etc etc and she turns to me and says 'they boil them right' and I answer that I don't know, sometimes my wife boils them at home, but my wife doesn't work for John so she might want to ask him.

Goes right over her head.

And then John says 'yessir' and I say Polish sausage please and he replies 'Polish Polish' like he always does and I smile because all is right with the world.

But really if you're buying a sausage from a guy on the side of the road with a portable cart and you are concerned about how its being made then you may be unclear on the concept. If it doesn't taste like its been dropped on the ground a couple of times then personally I'm pretty disappointed.


Well, we got another handjob last night I would say, no? Another win over the defending champs in their barn and Hall was absolutely terrific I think and even the one downer, Horcoff's knee going wonky, appears to be nothing more than a day to day issue, thank dog for that.

But if he cannot make it Tuesday night or even for another game or two is it not time to call up our friend Linus Omark. Little man is tearing up the AHL. Five goals last night.


Check out the highlights and really what is impressive to me is that he's scoring from right there. Three of the four that they have tape of at the Oilers's site are scored from a couple of feet out, max. He's not scared to get in there and get dirty. I'll bet when he orders a sausage from his sausage guy he doesn't fuck around. He probably drops it on the ground himself and kicks it around, maybe butts a cigarette out into it. He doesn't fuck around, our man Linus, such a man that he pronounces his name like Penis.

Now of course all of this means is that he may be a skinny Nordic version of noted minor league whirling dervish Bruce Boudreau but I'd say it may be time to see what the kid can do in the show. When we saw him a couple of weeks ago there was no doubting his compete level or his willingness to engage bigger men to get that puck. And he has skill. The big issue, with most kids, is his play without the puck but then again its not like the Oilers are running a squad of Bob Gaineys and Steve Larmers out there, right?

Bring him up. Move Brule or Penner to centre for a game or two. After all the kid has big frigging balls. Lets see what he can do with that attitude against the best in the world.

Free Linus.


Darren said...

Nothing wrong with handjobs when it's all that's coming your way

spOILer said...

If he mentions handjobs again I'm probably gonna bring the mayonnaise truck. 7 more long days till the next booty call. Sigh.

Speaking of Linuses, I can't remember the last time mine scored 5 times in an hour of play.

spOILer said...

Omark's problem when he was up here was not listening to the coach about goal-sucking and remembering where his own end was.

Black Dog said...

spOILer - kind of his problem down there as well, based on the game we saw. He was cheating somewhat and then when he did come all the way back he tried to beat a guy at his blue, coughed it up and it cost a goal.

You can learn how to play defence. You'd think if he was so inclined that he could do the extra work, my guess is he is good enough to have an NHL career. He can skate. Great hands. And he's not a pussy. So ... do the simple stuff in your own end and you're probably set. Seems simple enough to me.

Ribs said...

Penner at center would be a grande notion if Horcoff is out. I doubt it happens though.

macaotim said...

Bring him up. I am here to be entertained. Free him, indeed.

I'd also like to point out that non-pussy-smurfs, or Doug Gilmore types if you are so inclined, are also hard to play against. Just ask that Red Wing who was run over by Brule last game what he thinks about 5 foot 9 smurfs. Although Linus is not as physical (hitting) he seems to have a good presence down low and will engage. A limited sample to judge, but probably a million times more useful than other skilled forwards who are, as you so eloquently put it, pussies.

Give the man some games in the N!

LittleFury said...

Speaking of fine winter brews, Pat, if you haven't already I'd suggest giving St. Peter's Winter Ale a go. Dark, low carbonation, pretty close to a porter, but with a stonking alcohol content.

Oh and I agree with Dennis: sometimes a short stay at the Howard Johnson is just the ticket. It's no Billy Joel, mind, but what is?

Black Dog said...

LF - already on that guy, pal. Big fan of all of the St Peter's - tossup between the Winter Ale and the Stout as to my favourite

This is your first winter in Southern Ontario, yes? Check out the Winter Ale by Great Lakes Brewery. I'm pretty sure that's the one. Also Trafalgar Smoked Oatmeal Stout and my latest find (new to me) Dieu Du Ciel. I have had their IPA (corne du diable) and their stout (aphrodite) and I highly recommend both.

Fuck I love fucking beer.

Black Dog said...

Ribs - yeah it won't happen but if Horcoff is out for any period of time its either him or Brule.

Brownlee is stumping for Reddox primarily and I agree with him in terms of the club's overall needs but if a top nine man goes down I think Linus should get the call.

But the whole Reddox thing is another problem entirely. I can't see him hurting that's for sure and God knows the PK sucks ass.

uni said...

Omark apparently still cheats too much, but he wants the puck. He always wants the puck, and he's a demon with a stick when trying to retrieve it in the offensive zone. Reminds me of a little terrier out there, tenacious and surprisingly effective engagement for the puck, and when he does have the puck surprisingly hard to knock off it.

He also seems very smug and confident, willing to mix shit up and try crap that most people won't think of much less do in a game. I say the same thing, bring him up and see what he can do on the wing. Here's hoping he can learn the finer points of the game without the puck and finally wash the afterimage of what Rob Schremp should have been from all Schremp fanboy holdovers.

There are some fun clips of him taking a hit to make a play or score a goal. He's seems perfectly willing to get his clock cleaned if he can generate a chance. I just hope he can deal with the bigger, faster, and more physical NHL game and remain as injury free.

The caveat though, is if he's still ignoring coaches, cherry picking, and refusing to make the smart plays defensively, as well as put in the effort, he needs to stay in the AHL till he does at least start listening. Also they need to communicate with him and let him know that that's the only reason he's not in the show yet. Tambellini doesn't strike me as a good communicator...or a GM for that matter.

Black Dog said...

Agreed uni. Well put.

LittleFury said...

Pat: thanks for the recommendations. those all available at decent LCBOs?

Fuck I love fucking beer.

Drinking it is pretty good too.

Black Dog said...

LF - lol

Erm I would say maybe? yes? I have gotten all of them at the Leaside and the Summerhill stores (I play hockey right near Summerhill so often nip in after games)

I would think the Dupont LCBO ~ Spadina would have some if not all of them but not sure. The LCBO actually has a search engine which will show you what is in stock at a specific store.

regarding the Dieu du Ciel apparently I have been to the microbrewery in Montreal where they are made, it would have been the summer I turned forty, a buddy of mine and I went on a little bender up that way

I remember the place (terrific little joint) but did not realize it was one and the same until he told me yesterday