Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Deep Thoughts, In No Particular Order

Do they still do that on Saturday Night Live? The Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey thing? That shit was pretty funny. The show itself? Well it hasn't been funny for decades. Decades! Can you imagine? The odd time I see it they commit the same crimes against comedy every time, usually involving the skit that repeats the punchline over and over again. Maybe, just maybe, it was funny the first time, but when it is repeated a dozen times over ten minutes its no longer funny, its just painful. Considering that these folks are supposed to be in the business of funny, shouldn't they recognize a fatal flaw that this show has had forever.

Guess not.

That Deep Thoughts shit was the shit though.

Went to see TFC last night. After a day of pretty heavy rain the evening turned out to be nice and while the weather frightened off a lot of fans it was, as always, a fun experience. Tyler Dellow and I went to our first ever game back in the summer and we were hooked, he far more than I. He's a junkie now, I'm afraid and we may have to schedule an intervention.

It was a good time, a bit of a reunion of sorts, there were six of us including Mr. Michael Winters, noted cartoonist and pervert. Mirtle was supposed to join us but he begged off with an irritated vulva or similar lower body injury.

These games are unlike any sporting event you will see in Toronto or probably in much of Canada. The soccer culture is alive in all of its glory, the singing and chanting and foot stomping and flag waving. Its really terrific. The first game I attended the crowd sang to the opposing goalie a ditty imploring him to 'Eat another pie you fat bastard'. Dellow was hooked after that. And luckily the seedier aspects of the culture, the stabbings and drunken fascist yobs, seem to have remained on the other side of the pond, so that's nice.

Of course TFC failed last night as befits an MLSE property. Richard Peddie proclaimed a few weeks ago that things were going swimmingly, off the field of play of course, and with TFC, the Raptors and the Leafs all being disasters for years now, well, I guess that maybe Katz isn't that bad after all.

Although I do think the Leafs have a shot at the playoffs, I really do. More on that another day.

We have a new addition to our household, a kitten. I'll write a little more about her in the future, watch for it, its going to be a post entitle 'Rookies' and I will write about her and then I will write about the rookie Oilers in the type of phenomenal linking of varied topics that you expect when you come to this site. Its going to be awesome!

Anyhow the kitten is good, I'm not a big cat guy but it has decided that I am its mommy or some such thing and so it follows me everywhere. The little rat. Its idea of a good time is waking me up at various times through the night, at which point out in the hall she goes, to be followed by a knock at the door minutes later by the boy, who gives me the cat and staggers back to his own room. (We'd close their door too but our eldest has an issue with the dark, slightly, and requires the door be left ajar.)

So the result is a little less sleep, its like having a newborn, but at least we're having sex, so not exactly. Unfortunately unlike the dear departed big fellow who was content to quietly observe the two backed beast in action, the cat would like to participate, she has pounced on my head a few times and the other night she leapt onto my back and then, cartoon like, slid down it, all the while trying to get purchase with its claws.

Little fucker. Not really what I'm thinking of when I think of the passionate nails raking my back.

Speaking of little fuckers, Linus (apparently rhymes with Penis) Omark is strutting his stuff in camp and as LT commented the other day he might want to push his agent in front of a bus for not getting him over here last year when he probably would have had a year to strut his, well, stuff, like I said just up there a sentence ago or so. Omark is going to get his shot this year anyhow unless all of the top six Oiler wingers manage to stay in the lineup, the likelihood of which is perhaps zero percent or negative infinity or something. The kid has speed to burn and swagger and moves and it looks like his motor runs a little quicker than countryman Rowbert Nilsson, not Liam Reddox quick, but he's not a dogfucker by the looks of it. The question for Linus is whether he is coachable or not because he is one motherfucking turnover machine, wow does he ever love to cough that puck up at the blueline. I play with a guy like that, he turns it over at the blue a half dozen times a game rather than chipping it in or out and I swear if he weren't and I weren't such a nice guy I'd choke the shit out of him.

Anywho Linus has bad timing and getting minutes on the fourth line doesn't make a lot of sense for him so he'll head to OKC, tear it up and we'll see him in a bit, I would guess. Buddy has a few years of pro under his belt and he's older than the rest of these kids so I wouldn't be surprised if when its all said and done if he has the best season of the four although if I were a betting man I'd say Paajarvi is the man this season. Certainly if gets to play with Hemsky he's going to get a shot at putting up some points.

Oh year and one other little guy who looks like he may have a spot locked up is old favourite Liam Reddox who has had a terrific camp. Your man Bob MacKenzie took the time to tweet about him today, saying that if the Oilers were to waive him he would recommend any other team pick him up as he is a guy who can help. Good for Liam! Here's hoping that he can once and for all get traction on an NHL career.

You want to hear something weird? We have Mamma Mia PVR'd and lately, when I'm writing or surfing or working and the kids are in bed I fire that sucker on. I would totally think I'm gay, not that there's anything wrong with that, except I get a boner every time Amanda Seyfried and her nubility are on the screen. Seriously though. ABBA? Maybe I'm just bi.

You know who's going to finish last overall? I was pretty sure a few weeks ago that the Oilers will be in the mix as long as someone doesn't get trashed by injuries. Well hello Islanders. Yep, you're fucked before you've even played a SINGLE PRESEASON GAME. Wow. Mark them down as the favourites to pick first next June and how sad is that? These guys are like the Thrashers, you know, the counterpoints to the whole 'be shitty for years and then win the Cup like Chicago and Pittsburgh' argument. People forget that Chicago was shitty for years and went nowhere too. You need good management and some luck to make that 'model' work. Here's hoping the Oilers have good luck; presently I certainly doubt their management. Hope I am wrong.

Our youngest daughter apparently enjoys cat food by the way.

You watch Boardwalk Empire? That's some dandy shit. Buschemi is awesome, of course. Always has been. Mr. Pink himself. He's mellowed out a little bit but fuck he is terrific. 'Read a fucking book!' Hee Haw.

A lot of good news from this camp so far for the Oilers. Horcoff is flying. The kids have looked good, including Vande Velde, who is exactly what these guys are going to need at some point. But perhaps the best news is that Petry and Plante have not looked out of place. Up front there is a lot of talent and there is a glut of goalies out there so even if Roy or none of the others pan out, its a hole that can be filled cheaply, but the blue, well the blue is thin and desperately needs some of these kids to be players. If these two are, players that is, and as I said, that's an if, well then, things start getting a whole lot brighter for this franchise.

One last thing, have been following the Hawks a bit this fall and both Pisani and Potulny have had nice camps apparently. Pisani is a lock and it looks like Potulny has a good shot too. If I were a betting man I would pick the Hawks to win the Cup, I really would, and I'll have more on that later. They really need a good blogger though. The SBN guy put Bill and Rocky Wirtz on their Mount Puckmore, along with Bobby Hull and Toews. Now I love Toews and I understand the whole idea of that theme (Bruce did a terrific job with the Oilers btw) but having Rocky Wirtz and Toews instead of Mikita and Savard, well, come on, perhaps they should not hand out blogging licenses, if there were such a thing, to teenagers! Maybe its time to switch teams, glory awaits ....

I keed!


Jason said...

"...the type of phenomenal linking of varied topics that you expect when you come to this site..."

I come for that, I stay for the self-realisation!

William said...

I know the core is still there, but you think the Hawks get by the Canucks this time after losing all those players, especially Byfugzjckkljalien? I swear, that guy single-handedly got into Luongo's head.

And if LT is putting ON on the thin line of office political correctness, your site with the pics AND the fantastically laugh-out-loud lewd stories must surely be banned across the offices of corporate America. :-) Keep up the good work!

Black Dog said...

lol thanks Jason

William - first of all, thanks for the kind words

as for the Hawks well, their margin of error is pretty slim but yeah I think they are the faves right now. A full season of Hossa, Bolland and Campbell being healthy will help them likely get the top seed I think.

Their depth is iffy on the back end with Sopel out but if the top four are healthy then I think he is replaceable.

Up front all of the fourth liners are easily replaceable. Madden is the guy folks key on but his role was a lesser one.

So its Byfuglien, Versteeg and Ladd. I think Brouwer replaces one, he scored more goals than all three of them and I think he's quality. My guess is one of the myriad kids can fill slot # 2. Which leaves one spot to fill. So if Stallberg or another kid or Pisani (who has been excellent apparently) can step in there, well then, they're in good shape.

They'll need luck and good health for sure and yeah they need some guys to show up. I think once their new crop of kids arrives they'll win another Cup or two but I'd call them co-favourites at the very least this season.


B.C.B. said...

I totally agree with you on Omark: a) why wasn't he here last year, and b) if Paarjarvi was not playing with Hemsky and Omark got the same kind of chance as the holy trinity is going to get this year, than he would be in the race for best Oilers' rookie boxcars award. I like the idea of the Kitten story, I am waiting with baited breath.

I have a question for you (and other folks living in TO), would you like to go to the Marlies vs. Barons on Oct. 23? Maybe we could see a few of the prospects, depending on who gets sent down, play in person this year.

Black Dog said...

B.C.B. - what time is the game at? I'm up for it but I know we have company that weekend, although I think they will be at a wedding that afternoon and evening. Plus the boy's birthday party may be that day.

So its a yes but a qualified yes. If I can make it, I will be there. Definitely we should try and put it together, my guess is we can get a few folks together. Are you in Toronto now? We're talking getting together for an Oilers HNIC game too.

Anonymous said...

Barring other commitments, I'll go to that game. I know Mike W. was interested - we were talking about catching a Barons-Marlies game before you showed up last night. He mentioned that another commenter, Little Fury, lives in Toronto as well.

Coach pb9617 said...

I think I love stream of consciousness BDHS.

Coach pb9617 said...

We're talking getting together for an Oilers HNIC game too.

Make sure it's called by Millen so there is violence by the end of the night.

shepso said...

Black dog, if this hnic thing happens, please let me know. I'll happily drive down the 401 and join you. BCB and I have been talking about the marlies/barons game for a while too, so I'll likely be joining you if I have the day off. It should be a good (drunk) evening.

Black Dog said...

Shepso - we'll definitely do an HNIC night, will let you know, as for Barons/Marlies I'd say we're going to get a crew together.

Game is at 5pm on the 23rd

B.C.B. said...

Yes, I live in Toronto now (in Bloordale Village). I am down of any and all OilerDiasporia events. So that is yes to HNIC night and getting a crew together for the Barons game (even if it goes against my long standing desire to never give the Maple Leafs any of my money, I rather hang out with you folks then have principles).

Pete. said...

That was a particularly funny post. Nice.

Thanks for the Summit Series... series, by the way (you and the other participants). I read the whole thing enthusiastically, but never commented, as I've been trying to quit smoking for the last month, and any comment I would have made would have been along the lines of "fuck! fuck! dammit!", and that doesn't seem all that informative or helpful. It was great though.

Bruce said...

Thanks for the shout-out on the Oilers Mount Puckmore. That was fun, but at the same time I took it pretty seriously.

You're right though that the Chicago version was serious pucked up. What a mess. It wasn't like CBJ where they had fuck-all heritage (Tyler Wright? Jody Shelley?), they had to leave out majorly-qualified guys like Stan F. Mikita to get TWO fucking owners on that hill. Epic fail.

Black Dog said...

Thanks Pete, appreciate it and hope the non smoking thing is going well. Its a bastard (I quit nearly eight years ago) but well worth it.

Yeah Bruce and having Toews on as well ... maybe in a decade he or Keith would merit mention but Hull and Mikita stand head and shoulders above all others. Personally I would have Savard as a rep for the 80s and then either Hall or Tony O but I can understand the Bill Wirtz selection and make him the fourth. He did ruin hockey in Chicago for decades.

Epic fail indeed.

B.C.C. - its a plan then! Well, once we have details. And with your preference for beer and comradarie over principles you wil fit right in. ;)

Bruce said...

Or Charlie Gardiner. The Hawks have a mighty long history to be devoting half of it to the goddam Wirtzes.

LittleFury said...

Consider my interest in that Marlies/Barons tilt piqued. Sounds epic. Same goes for an HNIC get-together. That'd be the 16th, I presume, and not the season opener?

Black Dog said...

LF - I think the 16th may be on the docket, we haven't decided on any dates, I think I'm out (wife's birthday) but we'll try and do this a few nights this season. Drop me your email at - you too BCB and Shepso - easier to coordinate

mike w said...

Unlike actual Torontonians, I like Marlies games. Pencil me in.

doritogrande said...

Unfortunately unlike the dear departed big fellow who was content to quietly observe the two backed beast in action, the cat would like to participate, she has pounced on my head a few times and the other night she leapt onto my back

I had an ex whose cat seems to be the cousin of yours. She had to hold it off with a hand while I was doing my thing and would sometimes look like a depressed emo kid afterwards.

Harlie said...

you should watch Amanda Seyfried in Big Love. Not only does she look hot but she got banged in the last episode and you could see her tush and alot more. Plus ole Bill Hendrickson (her dad) is bangin 3 chicks and one of them (his 3 rd wife) is eye'in up one of Bill's kids from his first wife. Their's all kinds of weird shit goin down in that show. I plead the fifth on my gender assignment regarding Big Love as the wife makes me watch it. But damn I love Jeanne Tripplehorn and her bountiful lips. (see what I did there!).

And yep Boardwalk Empire looks like a quality show. I love all the swearing and seeing a young Al Capone before he got to be the kingpin. Plus ole Pink is still hangin and banging and slayin broads and swiggin whisky and two minutes later helping out an abused wife. Crazy shit!

Oh yeah, how about the Oilers..

Black Dog said...

Harlie - I've never watched Big Love, I should probably check it out

Boardwalk Empire is definitely the shit. Buschemi has always been one of my favourites and its great to see him get such a plum role. Three episodes in and not a false note yet.

DG - great stuff. my God that's funny