If I were trying out for the Oilers I think I would just not answer the phone. I don't have a cell so there's no way they could track me down. Call me in my room, don't answer it, knock on the door, hide in the bathtub, coach wants to see me, sneak out the back door. I'd be like George Costanza, remember he got fired and kept going to work pretending nothing happened. That would be me.
Show up for the first game.
McLean, what are you doing here? We cut you son. Two weeks ago.
No, no, Mr Katz told me to come tonight, he said I made the team.
What! What the fuck!
After Quinn stomps off, I knock one of the little guys in the head (Christ I'd have my pick, its going to be like walking into a kindergarten class in that dressing room) and stuff him under the Zamboni seat. When Quinn returns, purple with rage, I explain to him that Nilsson said he didn't feel well, went home or some damn thing.
Alright take the pregame skate then but you're in the press box tonight.
Make sure to slew foot another guy and rake someone else across the eyes 'accidentally'.
Volia, I'm in the lineup.
A couple of years ago I described the Toronto media as being so obsessed with the Leafs that they would go into the toilet after Paul Maurice left and try and divine the club's workings by sifting through the corn in his shit. We're getting near critical mass right now folks, although its Quinn whose words we're poking at, holding our noses, because it looks like Tambellini and Lowe have dropped another huge turd into their coach's lap.
Rumours are flying like crazy. Fernando may be a goner says Matheson who turns around in the same article and quotes Quinn as saying that Pisani needn't lose any sleep. Quinn says the veterans aren't up to snuff and folks read this as meaning that Moreau and Staios are on their way out.
I think Quinn is telling the vets that playtime is over and that its time to get serious.
I still think, barring a trade or injury, that Horcoff, Hemsky, Penner, Cogliano, O'Sullivan, Comrie, Gagner, Moreau, Pisani and Stortini are in the lineup opening night.
I think that Jacques has made the club. He came in with a lot going for him anyways and he has not disappointed.
I think that it is quite clear that Stone has put himself into position to be the darkhorse and that he is in good shape.
I think Pouliot has shown pretty well and the fact that guys like Gregor, who isn't a fan, have him making the club says a lot.
Quinn said he's not going to keep a guy around just to fight, he has to be able to play. Bye MacIntyre.
Schremp has done nothing and is not in the lineup on Wednesday. Bye bye and lets see if anyone picks him up.
So that leaves Nilsson, Brennan and Brule. Brule has done fuck all but is supposedly the pick of management. Nilsson, rightly or wrongly, is the poster boy for what has ailed this club the last two years (much of that being just too young but also inconsistent of course). Brennan has told Quinn that he won't be the designated goon and Quinn giving him a chance to prove that he can play.
Interesting stuff. I'm going to say Brennan by a nose. Of course last year I said Spurgeon was the darkhorse, so Kip (WTF?) might start checking out condo listings in Springfield Mass.
Just don't pick up that phone, boys. Walk away.