Thursday, April 09, 2009

Here We Go Again, Here We Go Again




Two summers ago I was standing on a downtown street, likely staring at someone I shouldn't have been staring at, when I heard a voice say hello. I turned and there was a pretty girl, stopped on her bike, tall and brown hair and lean in shorts and a tshirt and her sandals, grinning at me.

"You went to St. Charles, right?", she said.

"I did", I replied.

"I thought so", she laughed and then she hopped on her bike and pedalled away, leaving me, mouth agape.

For I had and have no idea who she was although she remembered me twenty years after high school.

Now for me this moment was huge. First of all pretty girls rarely came up to me and said hello even back in the day when I was devasatingly handsome and unattached. ;) Second of all the fact that she recognized me was flattering. In high school I was beyond skinny, I think I may have been 120 pounds when I graduated. I've added just under a half of my 18 year old self since then although I'm working on shedding some more of that. Its mostly baby weight. Each time my wife was pregnant I put on the pounds in a big way.

First of all we ate out a lot more because she cooked less and often craved burgers, chicken and so on.

Secondly I love ice cream. Conversations often went like this:

Me: You want ice cream?

Her: No thanks.

Me: I had better get some just in case. (Goes to store and gets tub of ice cream.)

Two days later.

Her: Can you get me some of that ice cream you bought, please?

Me: Excuse me while I run out and get some ice cream.

Lastly when she was pregnant the first time I convinced my wife that I should be allowed to go on a nine month bender as "this might be the last chance I ever get to drink". We both knew I was lying but she threw me a bone and I spent a glorious summer stumbling about drunkenly. I'm a drinker but since my eldest was born I've always put the kids first and my old time nights of boozing have been done while the kids were away or we or I were. So I was lying in a way but not really. Times have changed.

Anyhow the end result of the burgers and ice cream and beer was that I got fat.

I'm better now.

Its a different world these days then way back when. I actually have a few friends who are skinnier then they were back in the day and probably the majority of them look the same or thereabouts. A little worn, a little (or lot) less hair, a little thicker. I often wonder about some of the girls I once knew and the odd time I will bump into someone and they look pretty well the same as well. Maybe a little more worn. A little thicker. Its weird to think of a girl you knew and lusted after when she was twenty being twice that age now.

Tawny Kitean was a bit of an icon years ago. Kind of a fringe celebrity. Although, like Wooderson, I love those redheads, Tawny never really did it for me with her big fake boobs and her vaguely simian countenance. It may have been that she was just such an unredeemable skid. Yet when she writhed about in Whitesnake's awesome hair band anthem "Here I Go Again" video, I have to admit that I was moved to unzip my fly numerous times, in order to express my appreciation for her, um, skills?

Now if you have seen Tawny these days she looks pretty awful, a picture of what hard living will do to you, oh man it will age you quickly. And therein lies a lesson for all you youngsters out there. Especially you Hbomb. ;)

Living a little too hard will do you in. Similar to what will happen to you if you are an Oilers' fan.

And so we are a few days away from the summer, Oilers style (starts at Easter), and while there is the draft and the July 1st frenzy and the inevitable trades for the most part the summer drags on and on in the blog world. Last summer degenerated into a neverending mudslinging contest and bored people who should have been sitting on patios somewhere drinking (Goddamnit if I can't do it you had better pick up the slack) "debated" the merits of, well I can't really remember anymore. The summer before that it was Smyth and Souray and Lowe. The summer before that it was Pronger and Lupul and Smid and Lowe.

Barnes writes today that MacT is a goner (self inflicted it will be) and that Lowe will fade further from view (believe it when I see it).

Guaranteed to happen to encourage outraged argument and name calling and convoluted stats everywhere:

MacT will resign and his replacement will inspire vicious anger or outlandish joy.

The Oilers will take a major run at Bouwmeester and Hossa (if he is still on the market) and fall justthisshort despite offering ridiculous contracts.

They will move Pouliot, Nilsson, Smid and Schremp and will likely regret at least half of those moves.

They will move Gilbert or Cogliano or both in the search for big game and will most certainly regret it.

They will not move Moreau or Staios. They will certainly regret it.

Next summer they will be in trouble with the salary cap.

There will be much wailing and gnashing of teeth amongst Oiler fans all summer long.

In September we will be back for more. We can't help ourselves.

Now excuse me while I watch a little Whitesnake!

Zipppppppppp.

10 comments:

Dennis said...

Fuck, just how antiquated Does that lingerie shot look???

Swabbubba said...

Tawney has not aged well. But last season I would had even money she could beat Zach down. Not this year.

I hope they get good coach that works with this team. I hope we get new captain. And Steady Steve if he stays I will need to up my BP medication. Yo BD take it easy on that fatty stuff as we get older the doctors get meaner.
Who you used to write Flame Porn... I could use a good laugh

doritogrande said...

I think the time is right to call the personnel weakness for next season. Each Oilers team has one, so it's no shock to think that there'll be one next season.

While I'm tempted to go with this year's ever popular "no 3-line C" and "goaltending depth", I think our issue is going to become one of "puck movement from the blueline". Again. Reasons for this are thus:

They're going to dangle Grebeshkov for a top-flight forward (think Heatley).

Souray's puck-moving wasn't that great to begin with.

Gilbert I'm not entirely sold on as a good head-man pass kind of guy. He's money in the offensive zone, but I haven't seen the creativity we get from Grebeshkov and Visnovsky.

Chorney needs more seasoning if he can't handle the AHL toughs.

This leaves Visnovsky as the only true puck-mover, and unless he plays 30 minutes a game, be prepared for a lot of "Staiosrimsitalongtheglass" and "The Oilers can't seem to break out of their zone with any efficiency".

And stop bitching about getting older. Some of us can't wait for said blessing. Finished my last day of classes of my 4th year at University today (one year to go) and find myself wondering "why is it taking this goddamn long to grow up?"

Black Dog said...

dg - you misunderstand, man, I'm not bitching about it, its just part of the trip

Don't wish any time away, pal. Ever.

Dennis - something about the 80s - I can't even think of a decade, including the 70s, where shit looks so goofy. You give me a pic from 1925 and a pic of 1985 and the folks from '25 would look more modern I think

swabb- I'll try and think of something this summer ;)

Bruce said...

BDHS: OT, but how about those St.Louis Blues?

Black Dog said...

Bruce - yeah, no kidding, huh? Andy Murray.

Now excuse me while I have a little crow here. ;)

Bruce said...

BDHS: Say no more, say no more. :D

Black Dog said...

Bruce - you did say Nashville would make it too though iirc?

;)

Andy Murray. Great coach. I seem to remember some discussion midseason and I was talking him up and some folks were running him down, 'oh yeah, look at the Blues.'

Yeah look at the frigging Blues.

Bruce said...

Bruce - you did say Nashville would make it too though iirc?

My recollection was that I said both the Blues and the Preds might pass the Oilers. :( That's different from saying that both might make the playoffs.

I'm a huge Andy Murray fan as well, I seem to recall lining up on your side in that mid-season discussion. Or maybe it was another one ... those discussions kinda run together over time. But I been boosting Murray since he was in L.A. and running into shitty luck with injuries there too. Think highly enough of him that he should be on the Short List for coaching Canada in the Vancouver Olympics.

Having followed them with interest this season I'm thinking of adopting the Blues as my team to root for in the playoffs. Maybe they'll be just happy to be there and will disappear quickly ... that said, an NHL best record of 25-9-7 in the second half of the season suggests they're more than just the flavour of the month. Should be an interesting series with the Canucks.

Black Dog said...

Bruce - agreed on 2010

Yeah, Canucks-Blues might be a great one.