Friday, March 13, 2009

Stupid Roadrunner

Was at the Victory Cafe last night with a couple of friends and today I feel like Wile E. Coyote. You know, fallen off of a cliff and now the cliff face has crumbled and so I stagger away onto the road and get hit by a truck and stumble back off of the road and into the falling debris.

Well not that bad. But my eyes are bleeding and I have a nice ring of fire going.

Good times though.

I told a story about a particularly awkward breakup I once went through and it got me to thinking about the whole dating scene. I had a theory once. Seinfeld called it hand. I call it Coyote Love. Its not really so much a theory as a description of how dating often is, the situation where one person is the coyote and one is the roadrunner. Its not always the case, of course, but it was true for me many times. Sometimes I was the coyote. It didn't matter how many times I fell off the cliff, blew up, got run over by a steamroller or shot in the face I always came back for more. And sometimes I was the roadrunner and the poor sap who was doing the chasing, who cared that much more about me then I did about her, was the one who spent all of her money on the shoddy work produced by Acme, all for naught in the end.

I always wondered why Wile E. Coyote, Genius, didn't just go to the grocery store and buy a turkey every day, or better yet, raise them himself. The guy obviously made out pretty well from his inventions. He always had plenty of money. Hell he could have hired someone else to farm the birds and then gotten his thrill at the end of the day by picking one out and cutting its head off.

But of course the answer for Wile E. and for anyone else doing the chasing is the excitement of the chase. Its not a pleasant feeling, knowing that the truth of the matter is that the person that you are head over heels for, in the end, could take you or, more likely, leave you.

As some wag once said:

Its not you, its me. I just don't like you!


A lot of coyotes out there these days, cheering for the Oilers as they lurch towards the finish line, trying to eke out a playoff spot. And the Oilers, like many a girl I once pined for, shoot them down without a second glance, blowing leads here and there, getting outchanced and outscored by the dregs of the league, having their fourth line get their doors blown off by the other team's stars. One win to show in their last five games.

And yet they have five points from those games and ten days after they went to Nashville they are not further back, indeed I think they are actually ahead of where they were, and with another ten days off of the schedule and with a game on hand on nearly everyone.

The prevailing feeling is that the Preds and Blues blew their wads, just as the Kings did a month ago, and while they are both still in the mix they aren't going to finish 12 and 3 or anything like that.

What would be great is if the Oilers went on their own little run now but they're too inconsistent, too shallow, too young right now, to get this done but its beginning to look like inconceivably .500 the rest of the way might get it done.

I said a couple of weeks back that if Horcoff hit 20 goals that they would make it and while he's struggling with his confidence (and has all year) he scored last night and should have had one against the Habs. I'll bet he gets there yet. And while he and that bum Ales Hemsky (just below a PPG despite his recent travails) and Souray and Gilbert and Roloson are all running on fumes at this point I think, if they can hang on a little longer and they can continue to get contributions from up and down the lineup as they did this week (Cogliano, Gagner, Pisani, Brodziak, O'Sullivan, Nilsson all scoring) and they can stay healthy on the blue (two big scares this week with Smid and Souray) then come 1am on April 12th we're going to stumble up to the door after a night of revellry and knock and knock again, hoping for some action, and then, instead of hiding behind the couch with all of the lights off, the Oilers are going to open the door, take us in their arms and make sweet love to us until the dawn, leaving us panting and drained and aching on the floor when its all over.

At which point they'll get waxed by the Sharks.

But that's another story. ;)


kanadienkyle said...

That post was just what I needed. Sitting at the Minnesota Hockey Expo pressing the flesh with recruits and watching hockey spokesmodels (Go Easton!) Has already worn thin for me. You perfectly nailed dating and provided some valuable entertainment!

Clap, clap!

RLH said...

"At which point they'll get waxed by the Sharks."
Pure gold!

hunter1909 said...

Wily E Coyote never had money. Things just appeared, because it was a cartoon.

Oilers are in 7th. They're not good enough to be any better. So, they struggle, and wind everyone up who actually cares.

I doubt if either the Sharks or Wings really want to play the Oilers. Both were ignominiously(?) dumped by the Oilers in 2006, and even if this time it's not going to happen, it's what good teams fear the most in playoffs - that semi crap team that knows how to extract it's pound of flesh from out of the superior team, so even if the better team moves on, it's not quite as with the same amount of swagger - exactly the wrong direction in the playoffs.

Roloson will also be worn out.

Bruce said...

The prevailing feeling is that the Preds and Blues blew their wads,


Last 10
STL 7-2-1 = 15 points
NSH 6-2-2 = 14
EDM 3-3-4 = 10

Previous 10
STL 5-2-3 = 13
NSH 6-4-0 = 12
EDM 5-4-1 = 11

The prevailing hope, maybe.

Swabbubba said...

I welcome the chance to play an all in series with the Wings. Hey If remember right if we make the playoffs we are playing with house money.
Wiley was loaded. I hate the call against Penner. The was BS. WTF was he supposed to do.. if he did not answer the bell then we would had his head on a stick. But I am not sure when he got out of the box... he should a got 3rd star the dude did good. He was a going. I like the 4th line last night. Actually if we had some finish we would have won.

In the imoratl words of Al Bundy
Lets Rock

Black Dog said...

Thanks Kyle and RLH.

Bruce - you think those clubs are that good? They're like the Oilers last year - no way they keep it up. Just like LA did.

Bruce said...

BDHS: Do you think the Oilers are that good?

While the Oilers were stumbing their way to a loser point at home against the Kovalchuk-less and Lehtonen-less Thrashers, St. Louis was taking out the Sharks, and gaining another point. I've been watching the Blues for awhile, and they've really got it going, even without Brewer, E.Johnson and Kariya.

They've finally found some stability in net since they dumped Legace and installed Chris Mason as the #1. Andy McDonald has been tearing it up since he came back. They've got a legitimate sniper in Boyes, and a proven veteranin Tkachuk. They've got a boatload of excellent young forwards -- Berglund, Oshie, Perron, Backes -- and Colaiacovo is finally emerging as oan offensive blueliner since his escape from Toronto. They've got an outstanding coach in Andy Murray. They've got a better goal differential than we got, and special teams which are a net positive contributor. They're hardly a fluke team.

Black Dog said...

Bruce - I think the Oilers are just good enough to back into getting thumped in the first round, they're not very good but good enough to squeak in

I think the Blues have a great coach and a lot of terrific talent and I also think they got nice and hot for a bit.

Now they're three and three in their last six and they have nine of their last fourteen on the road and they have to jump over three teams to get into eighth.

And now they're actually playing for something.

I think they fall off.

Scary team in the future but not enough right now.

Anonymous said...

Black Dog,
Free stuff courtesy of Irish Spring. Have a great St. Paddy's Day

Dennis said...

Pat: Did Ty pick up the tab?;)

Black Dog said...

No, Dennis, he actually forgot his wallet so I spotted him.

Which is weird because that happened the last time we got together. And the time before that. And ... hey wait A SECOND HERE!