Friday, February 06, 2009

Sometimes You Can't Help Yourself

The popularity of the 'reality show' speaks to our addiction to the train wreck. When I say 'our' I mean us people, we, the people, as it were. In our household I was once a big Survivor guy (Colleen Haskell, hubba hubba!) but it wore thin after a while. I watched The Amazing Race for a couple of seasons until the series when the couple from Survivor got jobbed by the producers of the show. They had to catch a plane to Miami to finish the race and they were the only ones to make the flight and then the plane got held so that another couple would make it and make the final leg interesting. Fix!

Nowadays I can't be bothered much with any of it. My wife is addicted to the British version of Wife Swap which is completely mental. They don't fuck around. Nearly every show involves one family who are extraordinarily wealthy while the second family is a bunch of yobs living on an estate somewhere; they usually make the clan from Shameless look like the Westons, swear to God. Its really too much. Always your man is on the dole and his wife too, smoking away, explaining how they don't work for their children's sake, wink wink, and then the other family comes in and rips into them for being lazy. Spittle flies and everyone has their smokes and my God even the wealthy ones have bad teeth.

I'm an awful snob.

The one that I do watch is The Biggest Loser. I love that shit. Fat people are the last people you can make fun of really because even the politically correct hate them because they aren't into the yoga and in a lot of cases they do it to themselves with poor eating and exercise habits. Now that smoking has been killed off for the most part its fast food that is the latest target on the radar of the righteous and if you've seen Supersize Me you know that it might not be an awful crusade to be on. As long as they don't step on my toes, the fascists ;), they can go to it.

Now while sometimes I admit I watch the show and shout things like 'Come on you fat fucker, stop your crying!' the reality is that I enjoy it because these people are actually changing their lives. You have your man who is tipping the scales at 350 and he can barely get out of a chair without breaking a sweat and next thing you know he's running up and down a mountain and at the end of the show he's dropped half his weight.

That's pretty cool. I guess some people watch it and get a kick out of the poor people and how unhealthy they are but for me I feel badly for them mostly, even though in most cases its their own fault, two pounds of bacon and a dozen eggs to start their day. Breakfast sodas. The other week buddy is at home and he's supposed to be losing weight and he's got a bucket of kentucky fried and his pack of smokes.


But the reality is that most of these shows have that quality, you know, where you can't take your eyes off of them, because its such a train wreck.

Its like this week. I'm healing quite nicely, nicely enough that I'm hitting the ice tonight. I won't be blocking any shots (or as a customer of ours said today - I hope you're not the goalie) but I'm feeling alright.

So the boy asks me why I'm sore the other day and I tell him that the doctor operated on me. So he asks what he did and I explain that he cut open my testicles and did some work down there. So he asks me if he can see.

What can I do? I drop my drawers and he checks it out - this was last weekend so I had the huge bandages on still. He takes a good long look and then I pull up my pants. He looks at me and asks to see it again.

I comply.

See, its bred into us, this desire to look at the accident's aftermath. We can't help it. Right from the very beginning apparently.


Right now it looks like the Oilers might be heading off the rails. Visnovsky's season is in doubt and last night saw Horcoff and Gilbert leave the game during the second period.

Oh well, its only Detroit and Minnesota next right? ;)

After Horcoff and Hemsky I would say Lubo is the most important player on this club and you might even argue that point. The only good thing about losing Lubo is that they have Gilbert, Grebeshkov and Souray on the back end still whereas Horcoff is the only centre with more than a year's experience.

I'm thinking he might just be tired. Maybe he's resting. The interview with him the other day certainly pointed to the fact that he may just be a little out of gas. Maybe he just needs a break.

What is making me laugh too is how the dailies talk about how the Oilers may be looking for a veteran centre at the deadline. No kidding, eh? Hey why start now, you dummies?

Incompetence runs rampant.

Anyways lets hope that both Gilbert and Horcoff are cool because if they are not then what I was talking about last week not being a possibility, that whole bottom dropping out thing, yeah I may have to eat my word on that with Smid and Staios suddenly jumping from the third pair, where they were getting murdered, Jim Matheson's talk of them becoming a 'shutdown pair' notwithstanding, to a whole other level of competition.

Oh the humanity!

And Peckham and Strudwick the third pair.

A couple of bad weeks, lets say eight or ten points lost and the reality is they would be done.

Cole and Roli likely will be moved and MacT will be done after this year.

The architect of the last three years though - well, we know he's okay. At least until the fans stop showing up. And fans will put up with a whole lot of nothing. Just look at Toronto.

Train wrecks. We should look away but we can't help ourselves.


HBomb said...

Cole and Roli moved?

Why not move Staios and Moreau, the two biggest cases of "dead money" on the payroll, first?

That is, if you can find a taker.....

ryanbatty said...

Moreau is overpaid but this team would suffer without him, there has to be leadership from somewhere. Staios is an anchor and Pisani ain't much better. If we're out in a month then you move Cole for sure and get what you can because he won't be re-signing here.

Can't wait to watch us play the Wings without our #1 centre while Staios and Smid get additional ice time. I'm gonna have to have some breakfast beers to get ready for that one.

doritogrande said...

Its like this week. I'm healing quite nicely, nicely enough that I'm hitting the ice tonight. I won't be blocking any shots (or as a customer of ours said today - I hope you're not the goalie) but I'm feeling alright.

Why I wonder, did I hear this and think only of our dear, departed Electric Norseman?

I get the feeling that the D can weather the temporary loss of Gilbert in no small part to the work Smid's done this year. Don't get me wrong, the loss of either 71 or 77 is a crippling blow to the Oilers chances, but this gives us the opportunity to see if 5 can step in with the big boys and produce like Lowe thought he could prior to the Pronger trade. I'm still a little iffy on the 44/24 tandem, especially without 77/37 to clean up the mess, so I think they should be going 44/37 playing absolutely massive minutes with 24/5 logging the secondary minutes. Both pairings should be seeing in excess of 22 minutes per.

And, @ ryanbatty:

Moreau is a punk, and not the leader of this team. He takes bad penalties seemingly every game and couldn't shut down an opposition's tough line with a .22 at his side. Souray and Horcoff are the real leaders on this team, and they should be treated as such.

Swabbubba said...

yo Dorito settle. Captain Glass is an issue I have said as much. I think some adversity is good. It gives some time for the young ones to pull harder. Penner is looking like there where glimpse of a hockey player again. I think we need to tase him in the nut sack and then let him go..I am wits end on what makes him go.
The song to close out the day in Detroit One of my favorite bands. As BD said he like AC DC I liked these guys more

Black Dog said...

Hbomb - Oh for sure and I do think you could but Roli and Cole will be most sought if it comes to that

ryanbatty - welcome; if you haven't checked out the work at mc79hockey take a look

I don't mind Moreau too much but fact is he has been lucky this year at both ends of the rink; now is the time to move him because he is getting some breaks and looking good doing it

he has two more years left, Pisani one and I would say Fernando is a far better player, even if he has stepped off the cliff with 18 and 24 he still has only one year left

and breakfast beers? a good idea for Saturday I think

the one (only) positive out of the situation is we get to see if Smid can step it up and also what Peckham can do; even healthy this team is going nowhere in the playoffs so here's a chance to see what the kids can do

ryanbatty said...

I agree Moreau has his short comings. Stupid/selfish penalties are big on the list. But I also think that for better or worse the player follow his lead.

Without him where does the leadership come from? Horcoff, Hemsky, Souray, Visnovsky, Staios and Pisani. Good options for the most part but none are replacements in my mind. Staios should be put on the next train out of town and I'd like Pisani to follow close behind.

Although I would agree you could sell high with Moreau now I don't see how the Oil would be better without him. He certainly isn't the greatest captain in team history but he's the best we've got right now.

HBomb said...

ryanbatty: Guy is a sinkhole for scoring chances against, playing not-so-tough minutes. Losing Moreau would have no impact.

And either Souray or Horcoff would be more than an adequate replacement as captain.

Anonymous said...

Don't worry too much about Detroit, actually - their PK couldn't stop a stiff breeze right now, so get a few powerplays and your guys should be okay.

Pat H said...

You were saying, Anonymous?!!!!!

Black Dog said...

Yeah I called it.

What a disgrace.

ryanbatty - few as tough as Moreau but 2 mill. per is too much and while guys like him are not a dime a dozen you can find them

its the contract

and that is why you can keep Pisani; one year left only plus he's going to play your opponents toughs and do a decent job

You could make Souray or Horcoff the captain and bring in a couple of vets for your bottom six forwards to bring that toughness and experience and probably would cost you around that 2 or so

hunter1909 said...

Yes, you're right. With Visnovsky gone, this season is as good as ended. The reason? The only fucking half decent thing about watching these shit Oilers was the fact that they were running a top 4 defence who knew how to move the puck out at uber speed to the Hemsky+11 MacT clone forward corps.

I don't know when the next game is, and I really don't give a fuck either. This is coming from someone who was taken to Oiler games as a 5 year old kid. And, based upon this, I'd really like to know exactly where the next generation of Oilers fans are going to be coming from, because, when it comes time to get my kid into a sport, the last team I want him following will be Edmonton.