Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Diversions I


With the Oilers six points back of the Wild, Stoll and Shaggy's return still unknown and the lads having only two more home games before they embark on a seven game road trip which will make or break their season things are looking a little dicey. The Nucks made things a little more difficult last night and tonight they host the fading Hawks - a win there will essentially put Vancouver 11 points up - they have the tiebreak over the Oilers.
It may not be long before our attentions are focussed on whether or not Smyth will be resigned or traded, who else will get moved out, how their kid replacements fare with some heavy icetime and what next year's team will look like.
So in honour of Vic Ferrari, who apparently has pulled a D.B. Cooper and disappeared into the ether, here is a quiz of the type that he used to throw out now and then, a little lighter on the numbers though.
1/ Jean Francois Jacques is Quebecois for:
a) Fucking Stortini Took My Job!
b) I've Got A Girl in Kalamazoo
c) Brad Isbister
d) Its Not Easy Looking This Bad
2/ Petr Nedved's decline makes you:
a) Happy. Thank God he didn't sign a longterm deal with us.
b) Frustrated. Retire already! You're done.
c) Sad. Its time for the glue factory and that's always sad.
d) Horny. Because you're just like that. Weirdo.
3/Toby Peterson is getting big minutes, including on the PP, because Craig Simpson is:
a) Confused. He has him mixed up with legendary Swedish PP QB Peter Tobyson.
b) Confused. He thinks that playing big minutes on a PP in the AHL makes one qualified to run a PP in the NHL.
c) Confused. What is this power play of which you speak?
d) Confused. How does my hair look?
4/ Speaking of the Power Play, it doesn't really stink. Its just:
a) A small sample size. Wait another twenty games and we'll have a better picture.
b) A couple of good games away from being respectable.
c) Not that big a deal. Even a killer PP can't carry a mediocre team that far - I mean, look at the Habs, right?
d) Arguably the reason why this team fell short in the Finals last season. Why Craig Simpson still has his job is beyond me. Cut him a hundred times and throw him in the wolverine pit.
5/ If Ryan Smyth leaves our first line left winger will be:
a) Shoot me! Raffi Torres.
b) I love him but, well, shoot me. Ethan Moreau.
c) Stab me, shoot me and fuck me in the ass! Jean Francois Jacques.
d) Me so horny! Another rookie.
Bonus Question: In this video Mike W. shares a laugh with his date. Who is he with and what makes him smile so? Other then love, sweet love, that is.

3 comments:

Mr DeBakey said...

Fuck Man, take it easy
I think I hurt myself reading that

1/ Jean Francois Jacques is Quebecois for:
-9 ain't so Cold
2/ Petr Nedved's decline makes you:
Understand. So that's why that Hollywood Bitch dumped his ass.
3/Toby Peterson is getting big minutes, including on the PP, because Craig Simpson is:
I'm gonna go with confused, Wink.
4/ Speaking of the Power Play, it doesn't really stink. Its just:
A scent you're not used to.
5/ If Ryan Smyth leaves our first line left winger will be:
Marc-Andre Bergeron over da blue line!

Doogie said...

1. a
2. c
3. d
4. d
5. b

Black Dog said...

mr. debakey - -9 isn't so cold - sweet