Wednesday, October 18, 2006

An Update On My Injury Status



For those that didn't know I also have a "lower body injury" and am listed as "day to day" which doesn't mean a whole lot really. I'm a dog. So I sleep and eat and sleep some more. I also enjoy scratching myself. Vigourously.

Non hockey people often ask why I call it a "lower body injury". Instead of something more specific. The answer is simple. If other teams were to catch wind of what specific injury you have, like, say, my balls got cut off by some prick bastard doctor, they can attack my non testicled groin area with their sticks and punches and the kicking and the biting. (Sidenote: I DO STILL HAVE MY ORIGINAL BALLS!)

Anyway, I'm just resting up here. Got a good ten hours in again today. After a nice ten hours last night. Man do I have it made. And my owner will be home soon, unbeknownst to him I have overcome the fact that I don't have thumbs and have figured out how to use those snazzy garden shears. We'll see how he likes it when I'm done with him and he can't breed anymore. Although I do like to get right in there with the front row seat when they're breeding.

Kind of freaks out the alpha female when I do that though.

Anyways, not having balls isn't all that bad. I can still get myself pretty well all the way there by rubbing my ass against the couch or the tree out back or anything else I can get to.

And I can still lick my own cock. Lets see Mr. "Master Of The House" do that.

Whatever.

I'm 4'6" from nose to the tip of my tail and 76 pounds. (I've gained weight ever since the boy started eating solid foods- what can you do?)

4 comments:

namflashback said...

Hey, Pat's Black Dog,

Not to freak you out, but are you ABSOLUTELY SURE that you have your original balls.

uni said...

BDHS, after that Pronger/Selanne slash, now this...you scare me man, you seriously scare me.

Earl Sleek said...

The best part of this, I'm imagining, is getting the dog to sit still for his measurements.

Black Dog Hates Skunks said...

nah, the best part of it is seeing the look on your neighbours' faces when your dog is getting himself off on the shrubbery in the backyard