Friday, June 30, 2006

The Truth Behind Pronger's Trade Request

This was in the Toronto Sun today so take it for what its worth. I've summarized the key points.

The Sun sent a reporter to try and track down Pronger in Mexico to see if he could get the story behind his trade request.

He checked into the resort and for a couple of days tired to observe what was happening with the Pronger family dynamic. While he saw Pronger by the poolside bar quite a bit there was no sign of his wife or children.

He finally approached Pronger who at first offered a surly 'no comment' when the reporter identified himself. However the reporter bought the obviously distraught defenceman a beer and soon after Pronger opened up.

He loves Edmonton, the team, the organization, the city, all of it.

When he signed the contract he never thought it would turn out like this; his intention was to retire an Oiler.

Contrary to rumours, Lauren also enjoyed Edmonton. He is very upset at the rough ride she is getting in the newspapers.

The reporter asked what the real reason was behind the trade request then ... and gingerly brought up the rumours circulating about the internet. Pronger angrily denied that anything untoward and happened.

And then a suddenly tearful Chris Pronger gave the reporter the true reason behind his trade request.

Everything had been going swimmingly until mid February when after an Oiler alumni gettogether it appears that Lauren had begun an affair with a former Oiler player.

You guessed it folks.

Chris Pronger has requested a trade from the Oilers because his wife is having an affair with Stan Weir.

Stan giveth and Stan taketh away.

*** And because I am a total and complete paranoid, let me note for any representatives of Chris Pronger, Stan Weir, Lauren Pronger, the Toronto Sun or for that matter anybody out there who is easily offended and / or duped - this is a joke, people! - call my lawyer - uh, are you a lawyer yet, Tyler? Hello?


Iffy said...

Brilliant post! Thanks for the laugh.

lowetide said...

I LOVE THIS POST! Not only clever usage of Stan, but a photo of Stan in a Seals uniform.

Well done bdhs. And well done Stan!

namflashback said...

LT called on Stan's power so much during the run it is not surprising that we had to pay this price.

It all makes sense now.

Loxy said...

Now I have to link to you today.

mudcrutch79 said...

Brilliant post. I didn't see the ending coming.